Saturday, December 5, 2009

That Time of Year Again! Happy Hollidays!

Well, Christmas time is here again and I will soon hit the age of 53. That will be Christmas Eve, for those who don't know that already. I sometimes look back on my life and wonder, "What if". What if I had gone to college instead of marrying my first husband? What if I had chosen to marry someone else instead? Would I have been blessed with children? Grandchildren? Would I be alone now? You always wonder about the road not taken. You are given choices in your life and you have to make the best of them. I made some bad choices and I made some great choices and I guess that is what life is really all about, right?

My philosophy on life is: Grab on with both hands and don't let go! Take those classes at the community college if you want. Learn to scuba dive. Go white water rafting. Climb those rocks, if that is what you want. Dance. Laugh. Love. With all of your being. When you are ready to leave this world, you will know that you have lived. Never let anyone keep you down. Someone once told me, when I was complaining about getting no respect, that people treat you the way you teach them to treat you. If you show no respect for yourself, no one else will either. It took me a long time to learn that but once I did, my entire life changed. I now know that the people I care about, care about me in return. I no longer feel like a unloved and unwanted nobody. You should try it. It really works.

With the holidays comes stress. You have to find that perfect gift for that special someone. You battle the masses at the malls. Fight for even the farthest parking space, and then you have to search through the stores that are filled with cranky salespeople who only want to get home and off their aching feet. Can you really blame them? Once you have found the gifts, after hours and hours of searching, going from store to store, you now have to lug it home and wrap it before tucking it safely beneath the artificial tree trimmed with bright colored blinking lights and hand made ornaments. Now, you can relax, right? Wrong. You realize you forgot to get a special gift for that friend at work or your brother and now you have to wage the battle again tomorrow. It is never ending. The true sentiment has been lost in all of the commercialism that has become what is supposed to be "the most wonderful time of the year".

My advice? Don't! Don't brave the malls. Don't haunt the department stores at the ridiculous hours of before dawn sales just to save 10%. Find something that you can all do together as a family. Help out at a homeless shelter. Collect clothes and blankets to donate to those in need. Pack up a bunch of sandwiches and hand them out to the homeless that you see wandering the streets. Isn't this what the term "Peace on Earth, and Good Will toward men" truly means?

I hope you all have a great and memorable holiday. Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year to all of you!

Sunday, November 8, 2009


Hello friends,
It has been a while since I have posted and there really isn't that much to tell. I am well and content, I guess, that I still have a job and am basically healthy, other than arthritis. I want to wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving this year. I am planning on having my friend Julie over for Thanksgiving. Since we are both alone and have no family close by. We have been sharing this holiday since my husband, Don, died almost seven years ago.

A lot of people would say that with just the two of us we should just go out for a celebratory dinner and forgo all the work that would be involved with preparing a holiday feast. But I ask you, what fun is there in that? I so enjoy the feeling of preparing a meal that will be enjoyed by those you care about, and who care about you. The feeling of accomplishment; the tantalizing aromas of a roasting turkey with all the trimmings that makes the mouth water and overwhelms the senses. The feel in the crisp fall air that brings back the childhood memories of family feasts. Holidays where the entire family has gathered round to celebrate those special moments that, these days, are so few and far between. When you are alone those memories wrap around you like a warm blanket on a cold day and chase away the loneliness that seems to permeate the air on any other given day. The holidays are a time for giving and loving and helping others. These are my favorite months of the year. It's that special feeling you get when you see the joy in someone's face when all you have to do is smile at them and wish them a happy Thanksgiving. Although it is an American holiday, I wish the sentiment of this season could be felt around the world. A time to say thank you for the blessings that we have received throughout the year. Even those who have so little can find something to be thankful for, even if it something as simple as not being in pain, emotional or physical, or perhaps just being alive for one more day. That is always something to be thankful for. Life is a precious gift. We should all be thankful for it.

I want to especially wish all of our soldiers stationed all over the world; fighting for our freedom and our right to celebrate these holidays that we so often take for granted, a heartfelt thank you for your sacrifices. There are so many of them that are fighting violent terrorists who only want to subjugate the rest of the world. From the bottom of my heart, I THANK YOU!!! Many of you will not be alive to celebrate with your families and I want to wish your families my best to them and let them know that they will always be in my heart and my prayers for their sacrifices.


Here is something that I thought y'all might enjoy.

The Lady the Eagle and the Bell

In a field of royal blue,
Fifty stars are standing proud,
As thirteen stripes dance in the wind,
Above the cheering crowd.
Our allegiance we feel strong,
Deep within our heart
Each one of us vowing
To do our patriotic part.
With a wounded wing
And a tear for those who died,
Our blessed eagle soars
Across the morning sky.
The evil of the madmen
Have tried to break our will
Although or twins have fallen
Our resolve is stronger still
Our freedom we hold dearly
Too many heroes fell
They are guarded closely
By the Lady in the harbor,
The eagle and the bell.

Written by:
Kathy J. Porter
Copyrights 2001 kjp Kathy J. Porter

Friday, October 16, 2009

The weather is getting chillier now and fall is definately here. I love the crisp smell that comes into the air and the subtle colors that are changing as the days go by. Soon it will be Halloween, then Thanksgiving and before you know it it will be Christmas and then New Years! I was told many times as I was growing up that the older you get the faster time goes by and that you shouldn't wish your life away.

I remember when I was ten I wished that I was sixteen. When I was sixteen I wished that I was eightteen and the list goes on and on. I guess we are lucky that most wishes don't come true. You have heard the old saying be careful what you wish for because you just might get it? Well, so far none of the wishes that I have made have come true. NONE!! I guess I have been wishing for the wrong things. That's life. You take what you get and you should be happy with it.

The one regret that I have is that I never went to college. When I was younger I didn't know about all the opportunities that were out there and the grants and student loans that were available. Now that I am in my fifties I feel like it is to late for me to go back to school. I have always wanted to be a writer and I have even written a manuscript. I think I have mentioned that before. I know there are a lot of things that I don't know, and should, about writing and getting published. I guess I just wasn't ambitious enough to fight for what I really wanted and now I don't have the energy to fight, nor the motivation. It has been lost in the miasma of my life and right now I can't see anything in the future for me except more of the same. I do sound morose, don't I? Sorry.

I have been working all of this overtime at work and I still can't seem to get ahead financially. The more money I make it seems that there are more people out there with their hands out demanding it.

One last wish: I wish I could win the lottery jackpot!!!

What can I say, old habbits die hard.


Saturday, October 3, 2009

It is getting harder and harder for me to find the time to blog. I can only do it on the weekends now and I have been working so much over time at work that when I get home at night I just want to relax. There really hasn't been much going on to really write about. The weather is turning really nice now and the trees are starting to turn in the mountains. I haven't had a chance to take a drive to see the fall colors this year but it ain't over yet.

The new "Twilight" movie is coming out in November, "New Moon". I really have to go see it. I really like the first movie and it was really close to the book. I hope this one is too.

I am really hoping to get some of my bills paid off this year so that when Tammie and Mom come down here we can start looking for a house.

Now I think I am just rambling from boredom and I really think I might be losing it. I have no interest in anything other than reading and going to see a movie once in a while. I used to have a life. I used to be able to go out with friends and do things like walking the mall or going to the zoo or even going bowling but now with the arthritis so bad in my hips an knee I can't do anything that I used to really enjoy. I am trying to lose weight which I keep hearing will help alleviate some of the stress and pain but I still can't walk much and my right knee won't bend enough for me to even go up and down stairs without a cane. I am only 52 years old! I have a lot of life left in me to live and I really don't want to live it in a chair watching other people my age and older having the times of their lives. It just isn't fair! When I was a kid I was not allowed to go places and do things with my friends because my grandmother never trusted me not to get myself into trouble. I don't know why because I never really gave her any reason to mistrust me that I can recall. For a brief period in the late 70's and early 80's I did have some fun times but as I look back I feel that I should have done more with my life. I should have found a way to go to college to get the education that I needed to do what I really wanted to do. I have always wanted to be a writer. Now I have tried to write a manuscript and have even finished it but I have been trying for almost 3 years now to find an agent and get my book published. I just don't have the right crudentials I guess.

Enough of the pity party! At least I have a life, a job, a car that is paid off, and a roof over my head. I make enough to make ends meet. That is more than a lot of people in this country have. I should count myself lucky.

I better go for now.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Upstairs neighbors!

I know a lot of people would never live in a down stairs apartment but with me it is a necessity. I have severe arthritis in both hips and right knee. I have already had my left knee replaced a couple of years ago. But, be that as it may, my upstairs neighbor has been pounding on something, that sounds like the floor, for the past half hour. It is very difficult to concentrate on what I am doing. I like to read. I read a lot. I would rather read than watch television but with her pounding and what sounds like jumping up and down, it is really hard to concentrate on what I am reading so I decided to try to do a little net surfing. That isn't easy with all the racket either. What can you do? I really don't want to complain to the office an become a nuisance because I have to live here. I guess I will just have to suffer with it. Although she could have a little consideration for the people that live in the same building.

Enough of that. Bill gave me a USB speaker system for my computer because the sound went out on my computer. It doesn't work. I guess I will just have to live with it for a while. I am hoping that next January when I get my income tax refund back I will have enough to get a new computer.

Oh well, there really isn't much else to say right now. I did go to Walmart and bought the movie "Twilight" and the newest book "Breaking Dawn" which is the fourth book in the series. Tammie said it was better than the other three. I watched the movie and I thought it was really good. It wasn't as good as the book but as far as movies go, this was really good.

I am going to get back to reading. I will write more later


Friday, September 4, 2009

Back to Work

Well, I guess you all know I am back to work now after my vacation. It always goes by so fast. I had such a wonderful time with Tammie and Mom! We didn't really do anything much except hang out together and we went out to eat several times. Of course Mom had to go to "Joe's Crab Shack". That was a given. We went to Walmart several times too. I don't know what it is about that store but it always seems to have everything I need and it is just so easy to relax there.

Man, I sound like a commercial testimonial! That isn't what I mean to do, it just comes out like that.

Well, Tammie's dog, "Hokey", a nine month old Boston Bull dog, was along for the ride when they came down for vacation. He is the cutest thing but boy is he a fart head. He even answered to that by the time they were ready to leave. He loved to jump on my lap and play at biting my fingers and licking my arms when I was trying to read. But you can't help but love the little stinker.

While Tammie was here she had the book, "Twilight". After she was finished reading it I had to take her to Barnes and Noble to get the other two books in the series. She read all three books while she was here and then left them here for me to read. Now, to be honest, I was never really thrilled about the hype that I had been hearing about the books and the movie so I started reading it with less than enthusiasm. It wasn't long before I caught the gist of the book. I never really cared about teenage love but this book is pretty good. I am finished with the first two books and am now starting on the third one. I am addicted to reading and I have to finish what I start. I am a little more enthusiastic now than I was in the beginning. I think I would like to see the movie now that I have read the books. Just to see how Hollywood brings it to life. Most of the time when I read a book and a movie is made from it I am bitterly disappointed in the movie. Who knows, maybe it is an unwritten law that the movies have to suck.

Well, to all of my friends and family, if you still read my blog, I can't wait for Mom and Tammie to get moved down here. Of course, like all siblings, there will be times of discord but all in all it will be great to have family around. It has been way to long since I have had family around on a permanent basis.

Hope you all have a wonderful day!


Sunday, August 23, 2009

On Vacation!

Well, I am officially on vacation for the entire week. Unfortunately, due to the "Cash for Clunkers" program that our illustrious leader has implemented, I will have to go in to work for a few hours Monday. The program is basically a good deal for the consumer but a raging nightmare for the dealers.

There are a certain set of criteria that must be met to even qualify for the "Clunker" program. Then there is so much paperwork that has to be compiled to send to the government before we can even get our money back. The "Clunkers" have to be made unusable and then junked. We have to void all the titles by writing "Junk Car," across the front and back of the title.

I can't believe how many people have no idea where their car title is! It just boggles the mind! How can you not know where the title to your vehicle is? If people truly understood the lengths one must go through to get a duplicate title, they would be more careful. But, they really don't care until the time comes for them to sell or trade their vehicle. And to obtain a out of state duplicate title is more than just a nightmare! It practically takes an act of congress and notarized statement to get the title. With all of the privacy laws that have been enacted over the past few years it really is incredibly difficult to even obtain a lien release from the lien holder unless the customer is sitting right there in front of you when you call the lien holder. I can understand the need for privacy. What I don't understand is the lack of intelligence on the public's part when it comes to important documents.

I deal with the department of motor vehicles on a daily basis. I know what is required by most states to get titles. We have even tried charging customers $50.00 for applying for lost titles and they will pay it just so they don't have to be bothered with it. If you ask me it isn't enough. We should charge more especially if it is an out of state title!

But that is just my opinion.

Mom and Tammie arrived last night and we went to Joe's Crab Shack for dinner. It was great and the food was delicious. I love going there. Julie went with us and we all had a great time. While I am off work this week we are going to go look a some houses just to get an idea of what price range we will be able to afford. They also want to go gem mining so I am going to take them to Ceaser's Head sometime this week also. Julie and I had a great time when we went a few years ago. I don't have a lot of money right now but hey, it will be a fun drive.

I guess that is about all I have to write about now. I will chat more later.

By the way, Tammie brought her puppy, "Hokey" with her and is he adorable. He is a nine month old Boston Bull dog and the most loving and playful thing you would ever find. He is so sweet.

Gotta Go.

Friday, August 7, 2009

My New Home!

I finally got moved into my new apartment on Monday, August 3rd. I am still unpacking and boy has it been an experience.

My insurance company hired ServPro to come in and pack my things and take them to their facility for cleaning and restoration. They were there quickly and I have no problem with that. However, when it came time to have my things delivered to my new home it was a completely different matter.

They were very professional when it came to delivering my things on time and getting them into the apartment quickly. The packing however was total chaos! My good china was in a dozen different boxes. Some were marked bedroom, some bathroom, some office equipment and even one was marked kitchen. I was surprised nothing was broken. I still haven't found the lid to my soup turine. The cordless phone I had in my living room was in three different boxes. The handset was in with the china, the base was in with living room nick nacks and the cords were in the electronics box. To top it all off my clothes, shoes, bed linens and bath towels were not even delivered. When I called to find out why they said that they were sent to a different company for cleaning and would be delivered next monda. Until then I had to borrow sheets for the bed from a friend and go buy new bath towels so I wouldn't have to drip dry after my shower.

How is that for an experience. It wasn't stressfull enough that I was forced from my home due to someone elses carelessness but then I had to deal with this. Let me tell you I let my insurance adjuster know what I thought and I let ServPro know also that I was not a happy camper. I pray I never have to go through this again. And that no one else I know will have to go through it either.

Gotta go for now.


Thursday, July 30, 2009

My New Home!

Well, it looks like I will be moving into my new apartment next Monday. I can't wait. I will miss Julie, of course, but I guess I am just used to being alone and so is Julie. It will be nice to get settled again. I feel like I have been in limbo for the past month. Julie has been wonderful and we get along great but it still isn't my home, if you know what I mean. Jan told me that she is taking Monday as a personal day so that she can help me get moved in. Isn't that the sweetest thing? I just love her for that. Her mother lives in the same building that I am moving into so she can check on her mother as well as helping me out tremendously. I am blessed to have caring friends like that. I have a job and I am basically healthy, except for the arthritis, but that's another story.

I have also decided to make a nutritional life change once I am settled into my new home. My arthritis in my knee and hips is getting so bad that I can barely walk when I get up after sitting for a while. There are some nights that the pain wakes me up in the middle of the night it hurts so bad. The doctor has already mentioned a hip replacement and a knee replacement. With the medical bills and the economy the way it is there is no way that I can have that kind of surgery. I have already had one knee replaced back in 2006 and I am still paying the bills. Of course I have insurance but that only covers 70% of the bill plus I have a $1200.00 deductible that I would have to pay. With the wages I earn there is no way that I can work that into my budget at this time. Therefore, losing weight, and a lot of it, will benefit me beyond measure. Of course I have a great deal of weight to lose. Over 170lbs to be exact. That is what I will need to lose to get down to my ideal weight. I am no longer twenty something which means that it will take me much longer and with a very slow metabolism it will be even more difficult. Being over fifty years old doesn't make it any easier either. But I am motivated and I really need to do this.

I realise that losing weight will not cure all of my ills nor will it turn my life into a fantasy, but it will help my self esteem as well as the medical ramifications. I would join Weight Watchers again but right now I can't even afford that so I will just surf the net for low fat and low calorie recipes. If you have any please fell free to e-mail them to me. I would greatly appreciate them.

It is time for me to say good bye for now. I will keep you all in my prayers.


Friday, July 24, 2009

What's with the young men?

What is with the youth of today? I ask you! Do they really think it is cool to walk around in pants that are not only three sizes too large but ride so low on their butts that they have to hold them up when they walk so they don't fall down around their ankles? Not only that! They let their boxers show! What happened to common courtesy? Who wants to see someones underwear?

If you ask me they are just begging for an "atomic wedgie".

I am all for self expression. Really I am. But come on! There is such a thing as going to far. I would rather see tattoos and body piercings, than some kids underwear and their pants around their knees.

Maybe it is a form of rebellion against convention. I know when I was a kid parents thought bell bottom pants and long hair was scandalous. At least we didn't have to hold up our pants to walk around.

I guess as we get older and the new generations come of age, we will always find something to complain about. "Things just weren't done that way when I was young" type of things. I can't wait to see what the next generation will come up with!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

I love the south!!!

I moved to South Carolina in July of 1995 from Indiana. I must say that I have never regretted the move. I had never lived in the south before and never even visited South Carolina before the move. When we arrived in Greenville, the weather was hot and sultry. I could see the mountains in the distance shrouded in a light gray mist that I could almost feel. And the green of the area was so bright it looked animated. The best part of arriving in Greenville was the feeling I got in my heart and in my stomach when we crossed the North Carolina/South Carolina boarded. I felt like I had finally come home. I grew up in Indiana, graduated from high school there. I moved to Pennsylvania where I lived for over twelve years and I even spent a few months in Florida, but I had never in my life felt that feeling of coming home. Of belonging, until I came to Greenville South Carolina.

Most of the people I have met are friendly and hospitable. There are those of course, who are still fighting "The war of northern aggression" and make no bones about letting "Yankees" know just how they feel. But all in all, I love the south. I can almost say "y'all" like a native!

That's it for now. I just wanted to let you know that being in the south is not synonymous with stupid. There are many very intellegent and talented people born and bred in the south.

Good luck and may you always look for the best in any situation no matter how dyer.


Friday, July 17, 2009

Thank God for friends!

Dear Friends,
Previously I wrote about the fire and how I felt I was intruding on a friends hospitality. I guess I should have said that A friend took me into her home in my time of need. She has a heart as big as Texas, a sense of humor that can take you by suprise. Oh, and three cats. One female and two males. Lovey, the female, is the only one that will even come near me. Rupert, a solid black male, barely tolerates me and Buddy, also a male, runs the minute I step into the room. I have had that affect on men but never on a cat! But enough about my love life, which is at the moment non existant.

Thank you Julie for your friendship and your help.


My first blog!!!

Dear Friends,
This is my first try at blogging. I have been wanting to start a blog for quite a while now and have finally started.
Here is a little about myself: I am a 52 year old widow that lives in Greenville South Carolina. I enjoy reading and watching movies. My favorite authors are Nora Roberts and Linda Howard. I also like Sherrilynn Kenyon's Dark Hunter series.
I also love to write. I have written several poems that I will share with you from time to time and I have also written a 100,000 word manuscript that I am trying to get published. I am still looking for an agent at the moment

This year has not been good to me so far. The fates are testing me and my sense of humor I think. On the 2nd of January a very dear friend of mine passed away at the age of 58. On January 7th my step father whom I loved dearly also passed away. Then in March my father passed away after a long illness. As they say bad things come in threes. Well, for me so far, it has come in fours. Over the July 4th weekend, the apartment building that I have lived in for six years caught fire at 2:30 in the morning and now I am forced to intrude on a friends hospitality until another apartment comes available next month.

I truely hope the rest of this year starts looking up. I have tried to maintain the philosophy that there are those who are worse off than I am. At least I still have a job that I love and have been at for nearly 14 years. The friend that I am staying with lost her job nearly 2 months ago and is still looking.

I have so much more to write but I think I will save it for another time.

To all of my loved ones, may the sun always shine on your face and the rain make your flowers grow.