Friday, October 16, 2009

The weather is getting chillier now and fall is definately here. I love the crisp smell that comes into the air and the subtle colors that are changing as the days go by. Soon it will be Halloween, then Thanksgiving and before you know it it will be Christmas and then New Years! I was told many times as I was growing up that the older you get the faster time goes by and that you shouldn't wish your life away.

I remember when I was ten I wished that I was sixteen. When I was sixteen I wished that I was eightteen and the list goes on and on. I guess we are lucky that most wishes don't come true. You have heard the old saying be careful what you wish for because you just might get it? Well, so far none of the wishes that I have made have come true. NONE!! I guess I have been wishing for the wrong things. That's life. You take what you get and you should be happy with it.

The one regret that I have is that I never went to college. When I was younger I didn't know about all the opportunities that were out there and the grants and student loans that were available. Now that I am in my fifties I feel like it is to late for me to go back to school. I have always wanted to be a writer and I have even written a manuscript. I think I have mentioned that before. I know there are a lot of things that I don't know, and should, about writing and getting published. I guess I just wasn't ambitious enough to fight for what I really wanted and now I don't have the energy to fight, nor the motivation. It has been lost in the miasma of my life and right now I can't see anything in the future for me except more of the same. I do sound morose, don't I? Sorry.

I have been working all of this overtime at work and I still can't seem to get ahead financially. The more money I make it seems that there are more people out there with their hands out demanding it.

One last wish: I wish I could win the lottery jackpot!!!

What can I say, old habbits die hard.

Later

Saturday, October 3, 2009

It is getting harder and harder for me to find the time to blog. I can only do it on the weekends now and I have been working so much over time at work that when I get home at night I just want to relax. There really hasn't been much going on to really write about. The weather is turning really nice now and the trees are starting to turn in the mountains. I haven't had a chance to take a drive to see the fall colors this year but it ain't over yet.

The new "Twilight" movie is coming out in November, "New Moon". I really have to go see it. I really like the first movie and it was really close to the book. I hope this one is too.

I am really hoping to get some of my bills paid off this year so that when Tammie and Mom come down here we can start looking for a house.

Now I think I am just rambling from boredom and I really think I might be losing it. I have no interest in anything other than reading and going to see a movie once in a while. I used to have a life. I used to be able to go out with friends and do things like walking the mall or going to the zoo or even going bowling but now with the arthritis so bad in my hips an knee I can't do anything that I used to really enjoy. I am trying to lose weight which I keep hearing will help alleviate some of the stress and pain but I still can't walk much and my right knee won't bend enough for me to even go up and down stairs without a cane. I am only 52 years old! I have a lot of life left in me to live and I really don't want to live it in a chair watching other people my age and older having the times of their lives. It just isn't fair! When I was a kid I was not allowed to go places and do things with my friends because my grandmother never trusted me not to get myself into trouble. I don't know why because I never really gave her any reason to mistrust me that I can recall. For a brief period in the late 70's and early 80's I did have some fun times but as I look back I feel that I should have done more with my life. I should have found a way to go to college to get the education that I needed to do what I really wanted to do. I have always wanted to be a writer. Now I have tried to write a manuscript and have even finished it but I have been trying for almost 3 years now to find an agent and get my book published. I just don't have the right crudentials I guess.

Enough of the pity party! At least I have a life, a job, a car that is paid off, and a roof over my head. I make enough to make ends meet. That is more than a lot of people in this country have. I should count myself lucky.

I better go for now.
Later
Kat